General Jokes

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Children Are Quick and Always Speak Their Minds
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TEACHER:    Maria, go to the map and find North America .
MARIA:         Here it is.
TEACHER:   Correct.  Now class, who discovered America ?
CLASS:         Maria.
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TEACHER:    John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
JOHN:          You told me to do it without using the tables.
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TEACHER:  Glenn, how do you spell 'crocodile?'
GLENN:      K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L'
TEACHER:  No, that's wrong
GLENN:       Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.  

(I  Love this child)
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TEACHER:   Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
DONALD:     H I J K L M N O.
TEACHER:   What are you talking about?
DONALD:    Yesterday you said it's H to O.  
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TEACHER:   Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.
WINNIE:       Me!
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TEACHER:   Glen, why do you always get so dirty?                  
GLEN:          Well, I'm a  lot closer to the ground than you are.
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TEACHER:     Millie, give me a sentence starting with '  I.  '
MILLIE:         I  is...
TEACHER:     No, Millie...... always say, 'I  am.'
MILLIE:         All right...  'I am the ninth letter of the alphabet'      
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TEACHER:    George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?
LOUIS:           Because George still had  the axe in his hand......    
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TEACHER:    Now, Simon , tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
SIMON:         No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.  
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TEACHER:       Clyde , your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's.. Did you copy his?
CLYDE   :         No sir, It's the same dog.    

(I want to adopt this kid!!!)
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TEACHER:    Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
HAROLD:     A teacher
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PASS  IT AROUND AND MAKE SOMEONE LAUGH!
LAUGHTER  IS THE SOUL'S MEDICINE!!
Wife runs to home telling:"Pack your bag honey, I won 5 crore lottery"

Hubby:"Do I pack for beach or hills?

Wife:"Who cares! Just pack & get lost">=)